Description:
Raft Engineering Lead
Are you ready to revolutionize island escape strategies? As the Raft Engineering Lead, you will take charge of designing, building, and inevitably failing multiple raft prototypes while convincing the team that this time, it’ll work.
Key Responsibilities:
Oversee questionable raft construction using palm fronds, driftwood, and pure optimism.
Conduct highly scientific buoyancy tests (a.k.a. throwing things in the water and seeing what happens).
Lead a dedicated yet deeply skeptical team of raft builders.
Present weekly escape plans that will likely be scrapped in favor of a bonfire party.
Manage raft-related catastrophes with a “we meant to do that” attitude.
Liaise with the Crab Army & Coconut Operations Team for material procurement.
Implement last-minute redesigns due to structural failures (a.k.a. raft sinking before launch).
Required Skills & Qualifications:
No actual engineering experience necessary—blind confidence preferred.
Strong ability to improvise when things go sideways (which they will).
Must possess leadership qualities to rally team morale after every inevitable raft collapse.
Prior experience in watching survival shows and loudly commenting on what they should have done.
Proficiency in shouting “Paddle faster!” under stressful conditions.
Perks & Benefits:
Complimentary coconuts (while supplies last).
Occasional recognition when the raft floats for more than 10 seconds.
Potential escape opportunity (low success rate, but we remain hopeful).